No resolutions, no goals

Unlike many coaches at this time of year, I’m not going to bombard you with ‘a new year, a new you!’ messages or ‘how will you attack this year? What are your goals?!’ or ‘is this the year you FINALLY do x y z…?’

Why not? Because - in the vast majority of instances - resolutions often are a result of a feeling of ‘should’ [read more of my thoughts on that word here].

Or they are a result of something we’ve been conditioned into thinking is absolutely necessary for us to FINALLY be happy. And it’s just not true.

Or perhaps (this has previously been the case for me), it’s something that satisfies a part of the ego, but not much deeper, and the effect is therefore relatively short lived.

And often, these goals or messages we hear come from a place of lack. Of not enough. Of not having, doing or being enough.

The problem with these goals is that the real issue/what we want to change or achieve will remain - whatever it is that is driving us to accomplish these things or strive for the next thing, is never satisfied…it simply moves to the next achievement and the positive effect of the interim achievement doesn’t last.

For example, if you believe that if you just get THAT job or that next promotion or pay rise, or maybe if you find a partner, that little voice that tells you “you’re not good enough - you don’t belong here” will be quiet.

And happiness will be yours.

And - sadly - it doesn’t work like that.

Clearly, I’m not against goals per se, sometimes they are immensely helpful, satisfying, life affirming etc.

But that comes with a huge but…

When my clients discuss their goals with me, one of my favourite questions is “and what will that give you?”

And then I ask it again, and again, until we are at the root of what they ACTUALLY want.

And often, that looks very different to what the original goal or resolution is/was.

And therefore, the journey to get there will be different.

I love supporting my clients and helping them achieve their goals - IF they are ones that will give them purpose or peace and are what they TRULY want.

And you can do this WITHOUT thinking that you are, in any way, lacking. Or not enough.

100%. I know this because it’s what I help people do every day. My clients will tell you that their results are lasting.

They are enabled to see themselves in such a way that they DO accomplish great things and change their lives - and they do it BECAUSE they are more confident, more satisfied and more at peace with who they are - NOT because they have accomplished these things in order to achieve this confidence and peace.

So, if this intrigues you and you’d like to chat about exactly how to get free of ‘ego goals’ and work towards a real inner confidence, find more purpose, and from there accomplish even more brilliance, let me know.

If you know deep down what you need this year and want help to actually do it, I’m taking bookings for initial consultations when I’m back in late January and I’d love to chat to you.